In the end Were all Hugh Jackmen
by Platapuss
Summary: Kiba goes wig shopping. Toboes egg sucking. Tsume makes a guy cry.


**A/N** Ok i wrote this after spending the day at the beach with my cousins. Most of this is based on what happened today, and in the past month.** DEDICATED TO HAMILTON-SAN! and.. THE NATIVES!**

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Kiba, Tsume, Hige and Toboe were all walking down this street in Brookline. Except that Toboe was riding on Tsume's back because Hige ate all the food.

Hige munched munched on his bagel. "Yewp this sure is one hell of a sexy dammed god bagel." Hige spewed bits of crumbs as he talked, they flew and stuck into Kiba's poofy hair.

Toboe's stomach growled and he pointed excitedly at Kiba's hair. "Look Look Tsume! Kiba's hair is growing food! MINE!" He leapt from the taller wolf's back and knocked Kiba to the ground, graving on his hair like a cow.

"Toboe! You girly man, stop eating my hair!" Kiba swatted at Toboe, then picked him up and performed the Suplex, Belly2Back Waistlock (w/ floating bridge) wrestling move on him.

Toboe went rolling with a mouth full of Kiba's hair into an orange stand.

"No! My baby!" Tsume cried and went to help Toboe. Hige laughed so hard his bagel got stuck in his throat and he began to choke.

"No! NO! MY hair." Kiba jumped up and down, crying over his lost hair, and new bald spot.

"COUGH COUGH COUGH HACKLE UT UT COUGH!" Went the wolf.

Tsume helped Toboe up and brushed him off, then handed him and orange. "Eat this and you to will become strong young grasshopper." He said then chucked one at Hige's stomach. The orange exploded with all it's delicious juiciness and Hige's bagel went flying out of his nose, YES his nose.

"Ho ho ho, " Tsume held his belt and chuckled, "My master has taught me well."

"HAI." Toboe clapped his hands and bowed.

"Hey Kiba you're bald!." Hige cried and pointed and laughed and Kiba's new bald spot.

KATHUMP! Toboe's orange hit him square in the balls and Hige went down like an elephant. "WOOO--aahhhhhh--nooooooo!" Saliva streamed from his mouth and he fell in slow motion onto the pavement.

"1, 2, 3. He is down for the count!" Tsume yelled from the side lines.

"Yo biotch! Shut yo big ass mouth! MY bi-ches baby's got to sleep!" This random black guy with chains and guns all over him, and hanging out of his pockets gangsta walked over to Tsume and shoved him.

Tsume retaliated, "psh. YO YOU BETTA BACK OFF ME MAN! I will pop this cat in ur ass!" Tsume whipped out a glass bottle and smashed it over Toboe's head, then he started to growl and foam at the mouth. "What gangsta WHAT."

"ahhhh! rabies!" The black guy peed himself and ran away crying.

Tsume lounged against Hige's twitching body, "I handled that."

Toboe, "Fo sho."

"Somebody get me a wig! IM BALD!" Kiba franticly cried, to they all got off their asses and went off to 125'th st to, THE WIG EMPORIUM- Home of America's finest wigs!- All blond half size wigs are currently 75 off. COME DOWN TODAY!

"lalalalalalaa!" They all skipped into THE WIG EMPORIUM, but were immediately assaulted by a white guy salesmen.

"WAHHH HOI YAHhhh!" The salesmen ripped off his cloth's to reveal that he was really Hugh Jackmen, wearing a black belted karate uniform, in disguise.

Tsume cringed and ripped off his shirt, revealing... TSUME'S CHEST!. "Jackmen-san, we meet again." Tsume's mouth moved but no word's came out.

Toboe tugged on Hige's sleeve, "I don't get it what-" Then they heard Tsume's words FOR REAL. "OOOHH! bad dubbing. Now I get it."

Hugh Jackmen spun around and flipped off a wig rack, "Tsume-san. I have looked long and far for you and now our duel will commence!."

Tsume back flipped and karate chopped the air several times, "NEVER! I defeated you back in Vietnam! How did you survive."

"I am like someone who has died, but then you see me again and I look different but it's still me! Like The Un-mother from Inuyasha!" they both sprang at each other and began to furiously deal out blow upon blow of 'crazy kung-foo moves.'

"Hige what's he talking about?"

Hige sighed, and said in a very matter-of-factly preppy voice, "UH Don't you remember Episode Eight? The Un-mother." They both pulled out some food and leaned back against the huge, "Wig's for currently bald Korean's" section. Hige's red lobster squirted Toboe in the eye.

"AHH! Hige, shifty eyes Gimmie some of the lobster." Toboe whined and reached for the steamy red hot shellfish.

"NO! nooooooo! IT'S MINE ! ALL MINE NOOOO! GET YOUR OWN PRETTY BOY!" Hige placed his hand on Toboe's head preventing him from getting his precious lobster. Toboe swung his arm's around blindly.

"I'm not pretty! I'm HANDSOME!"

Hige snorted. "Did your mommy tell you that? SUCH EGGS PRETTY BOY!"

Meanwhile Kiba was buying his wig! "Lalalalalaaa" Kiba skipped happily up the counter to buy his new hair do, Tsume and Hugh Jackmen flew by him matrix style, BUT HE DIDN'T CARE! No sur-e, because now he had hair. "Yes I'd like to purchase this wig please Ma'm."

The lady with a red and black afro rung it up for him and placed it in on hid head. "Thank you Sir for buying the number five limited addition RED Yu Yu Hakusho style Hiei wig. A fine purchase."

Kiba poofed his hair up even higher then pointed a finger dramatically at the sales lady, "NO, Thank you."

The lady waved her hand, "Oh you kid's."

Tsume knocked into her and snapped her neck in two, "Move!" He shouted, "Get out of the way!"

Kiba slapped Tsume's face, "She's already dead you bumbling buffoon! Look next time before you decide to use your spinning Back flip with revolving right hook attack!"

"WHATEVER KIBA!" Then Hugh Jackmen pounced on him and they began to wrestle. Toboe and Hige dashed over to cheer him on.

"Screw this!" Toboe said and ripped off his cloths to reveal and stunning blue speed suit! "Tag me Tsume!" Tsume flipped out and tagged teamed Toboe.

Hugh Jackmen chuckled maniacally, if that's even possible, then slapped himself.

Hige pointed and said in a shrill voice, "What did that accomplish!"

Hugh Jackmen clenched his hands and began to power up for his special combo move, "Nothing! EXACTLY!" Then Toboe rolled over and knocked the leg's out form under him.

"Triangle Square left arrow left arrow Z! Toboe use Triangle Square left arrow left arrow Z!" Hige called and waved a red handkerchief at him.

"Use the move Young Grasshopper! Channel your Chi!" Tsume yelled. then Toboe began to meditate and shake back and forth, and Hugh Jackmen died of high cholesterol.

"Yes, "Kiba said as they all walked away to the train station, "In the end we are all Hugh Jackmen."


End file.
